Is it better to be righteous in a different faith? Or Lax in Your own?

Out of all our readings on Jewish Ethics, one passage from the Telushkin book really stood out in my mind.  When discussing the Noahide laws he writes, “Because Jewish law makes fewer demands on non-Jews, historically many rabbis have been hesitant to convert non-Jews to the more rigorous system of the Torah, believing that it is better that a person be a righteous non-Jew than a nonobservant Jew. “   What struck me about this passage was its contrast to Catholicism – the faith of my childhood.   While the Rabbis felt it was better to be righteous in a different faith than be non-observant in their own, Catholic tradition seems to favor being a non-observant Catholic, rather than a righteous Protestant or Jew. 

            I remember as a child, we were not allowed to visit Protestant churches or synagogues. It was considered a sin against the Church, and it certainly didn’t “count” as the weekly obligation to attend mass.  I would ask my parents why attending other Christian churches was a bad thing.  Wasn’t following Christ the important issue?  But my parents would simply say (with sincere belief) that the Catholic Church was the one true church. 

            As I grew older, I was still held to this standard.  My former priest, upon hearing that I had become a member of a UCC church, angrily chastised me at my aunt’s funeral.  I replied (sincerely), “Well, we are all Christians.” I still remember him sticking his face 2 inches in front of mine, and saying,  “How could you do that?” and “How can you be part of a church that has no doctrine, and no sacraments?” That I was still a practicing Christian was of no consequence to him.   My parents were also upset that I’d “turned” Protestant. (My mother cried through my son’s entire baptism because it wasn’t a Catholic church. She felt so ashamed in front of all our other Catholic relatives, (and made that day so miserable for me), that I only had immediate family at my daughter’s baptism.  My parents were more upset when I joined the UCC, than they had been during the 5 year stretch when I didn’t attend ANY church.

            It finally became clear to me that my parents – who have VERY close friends that are Protestant, Jewish, even agnostic – could not accept their daughter as a practicing Protestant. They would have had an easier time accepting me as a non-practicing Catholic (especially if I had at least baptized my children Catholic.)    I would still be part of the “fold” even if I wasn’t attending church, and that would have been the lesser of two evils.   My mom refers to it as being  “a Catholic not in good standing.”   Good heavens – at least that’s not Protestant!

            This is why this one line written by Telushkin affected me so deeply.  I truly sat and wondered how it would be if my family were Jewish.  Would living my life justly and righteously – with a great deal of compassion and generosity toward other human beings – be first and foremost in my family’s eyes?   If I was non-observant, would my parents at least take comfort in this righteous living? Would they ever approve my converting to another religion rather than be a non-observant Jew, (as per the Rabbis)?   Yes, the Rabbis would prefer Jews be observant and faithful to Jewish teachings and practices.  Unlike the Catholic Church however, the lesser of two evils for the Rabbis is being a righteous non-Jew rather than a non-observant Jew.  It was a comforting notion.  Surely my parents would see it differently if we were Jewish.

            But, then I remembered that Jesus’ teachings were similar to the Rabbis.  Love one another, act justly and righteously.   He was devout, and yet he rejected much of the rigidity surrounding Judaism in his time.    I follow his teachings, but I am still “not in good standing”.  Would it really be any different if we were Jewish?    I still haven’t determined if my family fears for my soul, or if they are just upset with my rejection of a deep rooted family faith tradition.  I can’t find the term “Jew not in good standing” anywhere, but somehow I think it would find its way to me…